Bismillah irRahman irRaheem
Alhumdulilah I am beginning to wear the niqab again. I wore it on and off from the time I was 18 until I was 20, at which point I began to wear it full time. Two months ago (at age 22) I took it off because we moved from Chicago, Illinois, a major metropolitan area with a large Muslim population, to a city in North Dakota with few Muslims and no niqabis whatsoever. AstaghfurAllah I was scared to be the only niqabi in town especially when people stared so much when I was just wearing a khimar and abaya. But I realized something recently- I love niqab. I've loved it since the day I converted nearly 5 years ago and inshallah I will continue to love it until the day I die. Why should I let fear of what others think prevent me from wearing something I love? More importantly, I only have this one life. Shouldn't I spend it trying to please Allah in any way I can?
So far I've only gone out in niqab here a couple of times. I won't lie, I'm still a bit nervous. Since my husband works such long hours, I'm usually alone with my 7 month old when I go out, and I must admit, I am a bit afraid of facing harassment, may Allah protect us. I think that the nervousness will pass though. I was thinking about it this morning and I remembered that when I began wearing the hijab I was nervous as well. At that time I was living in a small town in Montana where I was quite literally the only Muslim in a 25 mile radius. I got over the nervousness though and wearing hijab and eventually abaya and khimar became second nature. I'm sure that with time I will feel the same way about the niqab inshallah.
May Allah make it easy for me (and anyone else who wants to!) to wear the niqab, and may Allah make it possible for me to cover my hands and eyes someday as well ameen.
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